


Class II Malocclusion

by reginliefvalkyrie



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 04:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5953642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginliefvalkyrie/pseuds/reginliefvalkyrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard and Mordin try to understand Miranda Lawson's appearance. You can't tell me you've never wondered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Class II Malocclusion

**Author's Note:**

> Shepard is supposed to be whatever gender you want them to be. If at times Shepard sounds more like a girl, I apologize. I am a girl after all.

“Alright, Mordin.” I said as I entered the lab. “What’d ya do to upset Miranda?”

“Miranda easily upset. Could be a number of things.” Mordin hadn’t taken his eyes off his work.

“Look, Miranda came pounding on my cabin door while I was trying to get some sleep. She started yelling about you saying something about her appearance and her genetics and that you’re an insensitive ass even for a salarien.”

“I simply asked a few questions concerning her genetic template.”

“Mordin, what exactly did you ask?” I had tried to calm Miranda down and assured her that Mordin didn’t mean any insult.

This was Mordin after all. He didn’t do things out of spite or malice. He was simply curious and like usual, didn’t entirely think it through before talking.

Mordin turned his full attention to me. “Miranda claims to be perfect genetically.”

“That’s what she tells everybody.”

“If that is true, I was curious to learn why she has Class II Malocclusion. I have never heard of humans considering that ‘attractive’.”

I stared blankly at him.

Class II Malocclusion? What the hell was that?

Mordin sighed lightly. “More commonly referred to as ‘buck teeth’.”

“Oh, crazy, overly complicated medical term. Got it.”

I swear I heard him chuckle.

“I was curious about that too.” I admitted. “I always wanted to ask, but I know it’s not appropriate.”

“Ah, yes, human social etiquette.” He shook his head. “Never quite understood it.”

“You’re a doctor, Mordin, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“I never forget anything. Least of all, that.”

“It was a…never mind. My point is, I didn’t think buck teeth had anything to do with genetics. Doesn’t it happen because a kid won’t stop sucking their thumb or something?”

“True, yes, however, why would perfectionist father allow that to happen? Braces easily solve problem.”

I immediately imagined Miranda wearing braces. It looked kind of funny. I smiled. “Alright, I see your confusion.”

“Face cheeks also quite round.”

“Pudgy?” I asked cocking an eyebrow. “You think Miranda has a pudgy face?”

“One would almost think she stores food in her cheeks.”

“So, buck teeth and fat cheeks…Oh my God! Miranda’s a squirrel!”

Mordin cocked his head slightly then realization kicked in. “Ah, yes, comical analogy.”

“Not anymore.” I mumbled. 

“Squirrels, however, don’t have enlarged buttocks.”

“Wait, what?”

How did we get to asses?

“Miranda, her posturer is dispraportanete to the rest of her body and as Garrus said ‘that suit doesn’t help’.”

Not to self: Ask Garrus why he’s staring at Miranda’s ass.

“Well, Mordin, there are some men and women, I suppose, that find her figure attractive.”

“Do you?”

“God no.”

Mordin crossed his arms. “Then why?”

“Why what?”

“Purpose of Miranda’s appearance. Miranda is female for sex appeal.” Something wasn’t right about Mordin saying ‘sex appeal’. “Sex appeal pointless if not appealing.”

“Actually, Mordin, I don’t think Miranda was…designed with the purpose of sex appeal. Miranda was more of a ‘look at what I created. Aren’t I amazing?’ purpose.”

Mordin cocked his head and I tried not to make a pleased noise. It was so cute when he did that. “Then why daughter?”

“Huh?”

“Son would be more appropriate. Son would be perfect for egotistical and narcissistic human male. Though, son could prove threat.”

“I think you’re over thinking this. Does it really matter?” 

And how mad would Miranda be if she knew we were discussing this?

“Why does perfect human not have perfect appearance? Can a human not be completely perfect? Is it possible for any raise to be perfect?”

“Mordin.” I stopped him. I was not going to let him get distracted by what perfect actually meant. “Did it ever occur to you that Miranda’s father had his own reasons for making her look that way?”

“Own reasons?” Mordin tapped his chin. “Perhaps. Perhaps Miranda physically designed for specific purpose. Humans emotional creatures. Modeled after lost love. Mother. Sister. Girlfriend.”

“O…kay. Was hoping you wouldn’t go off on another tangent, but this works too.”

“Sister not share same traits. Appearance not by accident.” He paced a little than stopped. “Perhaps lost love also had appearance flaws. Would explain Miranda’s. Oriana based on another? Yes, yes, two sisters based on two sisters.”

I scratched my head. “That sounds plausible.”

Mordin would ponder this until he got the answers he wanted or got distracted by something else. I needed to think of something.

“So, Mordin.” I cut off his rambling. “How’s ah.” I pointed to his computer. “How’s that going?”

He blinked. “Working on flesh eating virus. Prefer biotics. Fascinating.”

Maybe I shouldn’t have changed topics.


End file.
